I’ve never particularly been a fan of people, and I’ve also never been a particularly happy person. Don’t ask me why, it’s just the way I am. I went to a party a couple of nights ago, with all my closest friends. Somehow, I ended up in a bad mood, and very drunk.
A couple of my friends were pressuring me to tell them why I consider myself a complete dickhead. I didn’t want to tell them, because it was something they wouldn’t want to hear. In the end, they managed to get me to admit that I just don’t like people, and I don’t particularly care about them.
I explained it badly, and it came out sounding like I just don’t care about my friends, when I do, really, I’m just not like other people. In the end, I pissed off just about everybody there, and I was acting like a complete prick.
Even though I was just being honest, maybe it’s one of those things that is better left unsaid. I’ve always prided myself on being an honest person, as I believe lies poison everything. In this situation though, I should have kept my mouth shut. I still feel awful about it now, and a couple of my closest friends are really upset. It’s silly, too, because I genuinly do care about them, in my own strange way. I try to prove this, regularly, and I’ve always been there when they need someone to talk to, and I’ve always been around to give advice, or help. I’m just a fairly apathetic person.
The silly thing is, I still care about them alot more than I care about myself, but in my drunken stupor, it sounded more like I don’t care about them at all. Then I was in an even worse mood, so I apparently (I don’t really remember) went on a drunken tirade, pissing everyone off, and talking complete shit.
I think I need to learn how to keep my mouth shut, sometimes.